Christmas morning started like any other. My 30-year-old brother allowed me to sleep until 9 am (some kind of record, I'm sure) before decreeing that it was present time. Presents opened, I made Christmas scones and we munched happily while the roast was prepped and went into the oven. Then comes the lull, that time … Continue reading The misery of merriment…
It's been a year since my dad died. 365 days. One year ago, on the night he died, I wrote down what I was feeling. I've been reluctant to publish these thoughts, but it seems right, it seems fitting to share them now, 365 days later. I hope you'll indulge me. I'm publishing this as … Continue reading One Year.
Here's the thing about grief: if you could schedule it, it wouldn't be so bad. Hour-long sessions of remorse and pain sprinkled throughout the work week would be tolerable if you knew that when the bell dinged, you'd be done and on to the next task. Grief would join the ranks of exercise and laundry; … Continue reading Suckerpunch Memories | The Guerrilla Warfare of Grief
It took nine months for me to miss my dad. There were flashes; I remember the first time I saw something funny happen and knew that he would be the only person as amused as I was. I actually picked up the phone and started to dial before remembering that there was no one on the … Continue reading A Little Less Lost | Nine Months
1) So I'm seeing someone. Not like that. I've started seeing a therapist. But Simone, you've handled everything so well!! Honestly, no, I haven't. I've pretended to handle it. I am an exceptionally skilled manipulator of the truth. I know all the right things to say and all the right things to do. I'm a … Continue reading Monday Musings: of therapy, becoming better, and a tribute…
About a year ago, I was introduced to a TED talk given by Ash Beckham. While Beckham and I have almost comically different political leanings, her talk about finding the courage to have hard conversations really resonated with me. She reminded me that everyone has something that they are hiding, some secret pain. ...here's the thing: … Continue reading Hard is hard.
Today would have been my parents' 39th anniversary. On an unseasonably warm day in February, 1976, she finally finished hemming her wedding dress before standing with him in front of their family and friends and declaring to love, honor, and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. They exchanged rings, yellow gold for him, … Continue reading We’ve only just begun…
I'm about to get super nerdy on you for a second, but then it'll get poetic. Bear with me, I beg of you. According to the most popular theory, solar systems form when a cloud of gas collapses on itself until enough heat and pressure builds up to spark nuclear fusion, which marks the birth … Continue reading Star Light, Star Bright…
So here we are. It's been 91 days since my dad died. 91 extraordinarily painful days. But that isn't the whole story. In the last 91 days, I made a friend who is my inspiration to make the 120 mile round trip to class twice a week, especially when it's raining. I took on 5 new … Continue reading Three Months.
The facts are these: I'm going through a season of grief. This is not news. However, there are so many people who seem completely at a loss for what to say/do around me during this time, AND I'm in a unique position to be able to tell you what a person going through this might … Continue reading I [couldn’t possibly] know exactly how you feel…
Suddenly, Chaos 